i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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