i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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