Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're so nebulous sometimes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
