He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
