margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
