I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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