i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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