What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
