Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
