That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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