I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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