He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
