I'm lost and stupid without you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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