Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
