I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize