did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
