I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
