don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
