i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
