small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
