I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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