the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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