ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize