Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You made out with two different species that night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
