I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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