These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
