Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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