1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
