took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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