She's JV to your varsity
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
