Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
