We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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