One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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