he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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