Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
