need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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