i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
