Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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