Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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