I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
