the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this will be a night to untag.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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