WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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