she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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