im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
