did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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