pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
