He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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