He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
