He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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