There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
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