soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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