I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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