I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
