How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
