So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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