Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
