Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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