There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
