At least make sure they are 18
Why
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
